Mediation: what to know

What the job involves, what changes the price, and what to ask a pro.

What mediation is

A neutral mediator helps people in a dispute talk through issues and reach a voluntary agreement, without deciding the outcome or taking sides. People use mediation for disputes with neighbors, businesses, co-owners, landlords, family members or coworkers.

Signs you need it

  • You are in a dispute and want to avoid or pause a lawsuit
  • Talks between the people involved keep breaking down
  • You want a private setting instead of a public court
  • A court or contract suggests or requires mediation first
  • The relationship matters, such as business partners or neighbors
  • You want to craft the terms of a solution yourselves

What the pro does

  • Contact each side to explain the process and confirm both are willing to take part
  • Gather basic information about the dispute and the people involved
  • Set ground rules for respectful discussion at the first session
  • Meet with both sides together, and sometimes separately, to explore issues and options
  • Help the parties test ideas and put agreed terms into writing
  • Explain that each side may want a lawyer to review the written agreement before signing

What changes the price

Every job is different, so we do not publish prices. These are the things that move the quote up or down.

  • The number of people and issues in the dispute
  • Whether the dispute is simple or has many parts
  • The number and length of sessions
  • Whether the mediator specializes in your type of dispute
  • Whether sessions are in person or online
  • Whether a court or program sets the process
  • Whether documents must be prepared after agreement

What a written quote should spell out

  • How the mediator's fee is set and who pays, such as splitting it between the sides
  • Length of sessions and number included
  • Preparation time and document review
  • Whether a written summary of agreement is included
  • Cancellation terms

Questions to ask before you hire

  • What kinds of disputes do you usually mediate?
  • What training or certification do you hold?
  • How do you handle it when one person dominates the discussion?
  • What is confidential in your sessions and what is not?
  • Will you write up the agreement, and do you recommend lawyer review?
  • Is it appropriate for my situation, for example if there are safety concerns?
  • What happens if we cannot agree?

Red flags

  • A mediator who pressures you to settle
  • A mediator who gives legal advice to one side
  • A mediator who cannot explain confidentiality
  • A mediator with a connection to the other side who does not disclose it
  • No written agreement about fees and process

What you can do yourself

You can try a calm conversation first, write down what matters most to you and what you could accept, and ask the other side to meet. Some communities offer free or low cost mediation programs. If there is a risk of harm, speak with a licensed attorney or advocate before agreeing to meet.

Licenses and permits

A mediator is usually not required to hold a license, though some courts keep rosters of approved mediators. Ask about training, certifications and experience, and check any court approval with the court or program.

Mediation questions

Does the mediator decide who is right?

No. A mediator is neutral and helps the parties reach their own agreement.

Is mediation binding?

It is voluntary. A written agreement signed by the parties may be binding. Ask a licensed attorney to review it.

Is what I say confidential?

Mediation is often confidential, but exceptions exist. Ask the mediator in advance.

Do I need a lawyer?

You may bring one, and many people have a lawyer review the agreement.

Pro reviewers

Pros who offer mediation remotely can improve this guide, like Wikipedia. We check every edit before it goes live. Every approved edit is credited in the edit history and on the pro's profile.

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